My state of mind pre-Vipassana meditation retreat

24 Oct

Six more hours and I will be silent. I am off for what may be the biggest challenge in my life up to today: a 10-day Vipassana course.

I am so nervous.

Ten hours of meditation per day, getting up at 4 am, no talking, no reading, no writing, and only 2 vegetarian meals a day…. what am I getting myself into?

I feel super anxious about if I will be able to do it. I have never in my life not talked for an entire day, let alone for 10 days. Will I be able to cope with the boredom? I am a person who checks her iPhone the second I have a moment of downtime. I cannot sit still for 1 hour straight unless I am asleep. Won’t I get excruciating lower back pain from sitting on the floor day in day out? What if my stomach will make rumbling sounds in the meditation hall? How can I ever concentrate on my breath if the one thing on my mind is food!?

But most importantly: What if I don’t see the ‘light’ after the 10 days? Will I have failed then? When do I consider this to be successful?

And then there are random curiosities about practical stuff: Will I be sleeping in a dorm or have my own room? I hope the food is tasty and plentiful. What type of people will be in this course and how many will we be? What if I need to pee during a session? How to ask someone to pass the salt when I am not allowed to speak or make eye contact? How come I am not even allowed to write down my train of thoughts over the course of the 10 days???

But what the heck, I don’t have much to lose other than 10 days of my life. The course is donation-based.

Here is the daily timetable:
4:00 am                   Morning wake-up bell
4:30-6:30 am        Meditate in the hall or in your room
6:30-8:00 am        Breakfast break
8:00-9:00 am       Group meditation in the hall
9:00-11:00 am     Meditate in the hall or in your room according to the teacher’s instructions
11:00-12noon       Lunch break
12noon-1:00 pm  Rest and interviews with the teacher
1:00-2:30 pm        Meditate in the hall or in your room
2:30-3:30 pm        Group meditation in the hall
3:30-5:00 pm       Meditate in the hall or in your own room according to the teacher’s instructions
5:00-6:00 pm       Tea break
6:00-7:00 pm       Group meditation in the hall
7:00-8:15 pm        Teacher’s Discourse in the hall
8:15-9:00 pm        Group meditation in the hall
9:00-9:30 pm       Question time in the hall
9:30 pm                   Retire to your own room–Lights out

 

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5 Responses to “My state of mind pre-Vipassana meditation retreat”

  1. Yaisa October 24, 2012 at 9:58 am #

    Wow, going hard core Lu! Reaaaaally curious about your experiences… Good luck and happy thoughts!!!!!!

  2. Benjamin October 24, 2012 at 10:10 am #

    It looks like you can ask stuff over lunch time and in the evening though, right? You can always come up with some alibi questions just to have said something ;)

    But other than that, ewwwwww! The only form of exercise allowed is “walking”? Does anybody check on you during the 4.30 am – 6.30 am “meditate in your room” session? I might take my extra nap then :)

    Good luck!

  3. Nanning October 24, 2012 at 11:28 am #

    Wow! Respect. I am curious about your experiences!

    Zet hem op, laat je niet gek maken! ;-)

  4. Sigrun October 25, 2012 at 12:11 pm #

    Would love to try. Good luck!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Meditation Training or Boot Camp for Your Brain? – Part 1 « AlongtheTao - November 4, 2012

    [...] My state of mind pre-Vipassana meditation retreat (justtraveltryandtaste.org) [...]

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